Side quests in life with an audience of one

Summer 2025 has, so far, been a season of deep personal growth, self-reflection, and realignment. In one self reflection exercise, I realized that one marker of success I want for myself, as I grow older, is to have lived a life rich in side quests. Not just the main storyline of career goals, family milestones, or community contributions, but the enriching detours along the way.

I started to think of what I could do to make this happen. What are the experiences I want to pursue purely for myself that are not tied to work, education, community service, or family roles? What are experiences that are targeted at an audience of one, just me? Not goals that are measured by SMART objectives or OKRs, or even by the value they bring to my community (though that would be a lovely bonus), but goals that exist simply because they bring me joy.

I’ve always seen myself as a multi-passionate person. But for a few years after undergrad graduation, I was in a phase where I believed anything that didn’t directly align with my ultimate career ambitions, need to be trimmed out. I lost many of my hobbies in this time. And with the few I kept, I often felt guilty for enjoying them.

"I could be practicing for interviews", I’d think.

"There are experiments I still need to define and run", I’d remind myself.

But I also realized that even when my career is my biggest priority, I am a better computer scientist when I also make time to tend to my plants. I come up with better ideas when I also make time to listen to some jazz. I’m a better friend when I also make time to escape into a book. I show up more present in my social circles when I’ve also made time to write a short story or a blog post. I am a better person in important domains of my life, when I am recharged by my side quests.

So, no matter what the big goal is, I’m learning that these small, joy-filled pursuits in life matter. They make me more creative, more grounded, more me. Without doubt, I show up best in life when I show up most as myself.

If side quests aren’t part of your life at the moment, I invite you to imagine what they might look like. I think a life rich in side quests would look good on you too.

Love,

Enfa